THE BEAUTICIAN AND THE BEAST
Rebecca Wan
Directed by: Ken Kwapis
Written by: Todd Graff
Cast Fran Drescher (Joy Miller), Timothy Dalton (Boris Pochenko), Michael Lerner (Jerry Miller), Phyllis Newman (Judy Miller), Ian McNeice (Grushinsky) Produced by : High School Sweethearts / Koch Company / Paramount Pictures
Rating : ***1/2
Run Time: Approx. 118 Minutes
She Had Style, She Had Flair, She Was There...
In an episode of Oprah, Fran Drescher once explained that the concept behind the working-class yenta-with-a-big-hairdo she plays in television's The Nanny was the conspicuously upper class, conservative and well-to-do Von Trapp family from THE SOUND OF MUSIC. "Only instead of Julie Andrews when they opened the door," she added, "there was me."
It's a good concept, and one that works equally well on the silver screen. That is, if you liked her in The Nanny to begin with. Reprising her guardian-cum-mother-figure role in the TV series, Drescher plays Joy Miller, a beauty culture lecturer who dreams of meeting Mr Right, whom she claims she will recognize because of the feeling -- the "utz in the stomach" -- he'll give her. One day, because of a misunderstanding that could only happen in a movie, Miller is mistaken for a science teacher and invited to Slovetzia to tutor the children of its president for life, Boris Pochenko. Miller jumps at a chance to experience something new, and the high salary the job offers. The rest is The Nanny.
The Pochenko children are emotionally undernourished; their father -- a widower -- is torn between his country's looming bankcruptcy and his pride. Western newspapers call Slovetzia "Egoslavia," and nickname him "Stalin without the charm." Miller, all hairspray and nasal friendliness, gives the children confidence, beauty tips and eventually helps to bring them closer to their father.
As for Pochenko, Miller infuriates him with ceaseless chatter and the kind of guiless-yet-wise remarks that eventually -- you guessed it -- makes him rethink his attitudes as a leader and a person.
THE BEAUTICIAN AND THE BEAST milks its premise for all its worth -- every gag or plot device works to contrast vintage New Yawk perceptions and Miller's Yiddish-peppered observations with the stiff, tradition-bound Slovetzia and its brusque leader. Drescher updates (or perhaps "downdates") her Deborah Kerr-Julie Andrews position with a tacky vinyl-clad panache, while Timothy Dalton endows his Pochenko with the bristly gruffness of Yul Bryner's Siamese king, and the gradually wavering formality and aversion of Christopher Plummer's Captain von Trapp. The film even pays knowing tribute to its predecessors: in one scene Miller converts her Ralph Lauren bedsheets into playclothes for the middle Pochenko child, in another Pochenko teaches her to dance to the unforgettable "one-two-three" used in THE KING AND I.
If you like The Nanny, chances are you'll probably like THE BEAUTICIAN AND THE BEAST. Drescher's piercing nasality and overpowering fashion sense (think Christian Lacroix and John Galliano but in rayon and lots of acid wash, and the biggest hair you can i magine) are a bright wash of noisy colour on the tacitly beautiful Eastern European landscape. In other words, it's all about her, emphasizing that the movie is largely also about translating Drescher's well-known small screen personality into big screen star status.
All I can say is, THE BEAUTICIAN AND THE BEAST worked for me because I *do* like The Nanny. I like that particular brand of humour and I'm a great Fran fan. Despite its rather stereotyped plot and occasionally overdone situations, therefore, THE BEAUTICIA N AND THE BEAST is worth $7 if you're a Nanny watcher and want to see the same thing repeated on the big screen.
The Flying Inkpot Rating System:
* Wait for the TV2 broadcast.
** A little creaky, but still better than staying at home with Gotcha!
*** Pretty good, bring a friend.
**** Amazing, potent stuff.
***** Perfection. See it twice.
Rebecca Wan is a full-time radish at the famed Jardin Des Vertes. In her spare time, she councils wayward tubers and administers to backsliding carrots.
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